random thoughts of life

Thursday, October 20, 2005

i can't cry anymore ..
i feel like such a wimp
feel like such a loser

cry jus because she rejected you ..
i feel .. ..
heart very pain ..

my eyes hurt
my mother thinks i'm crazy
but she still takes money from my wallet, to gamble ..
soon i'll be struggling to find money to eat, again

i was so rude, so fucking fierce to her
i should die ..
i asked her to stop playin with me
i asked her to say it if she doesn't like me, and she wants me to get lost
i asked her if it would make her happier if i wasn't in her life

i must be on drugs or something
i was SO RUDE TO HER
what am i thinking
i feel like dying ..

my eyees hurt
i can't take the pain anymore
why does my heart hurt , so much
whyyy ..

i dun feel like going for fyp anymore
i dun feel like taking bike anymore
i dun feel like workinganymore
i dun feel like doing anything anymore

whyyyyyyyyyy
what did i do wrong
why can't i jus be her friend
WEHY MUST I LIKE HER SO MUCH
why ..

¶ 1:21 AM

Comments: Post a Comment

if my life is meant to be this screwed up .. why do i exist then

Ж 7th.the0ry Ж
Ж male Ж
Ж b+ Ж
Ж free-thinker Ж
Ж 172cm Ж
Ж 59kg Ж

Ж Application Consultant Ж
Ж 35th singapore combat engineers (bridging) Ж
Ж boatman Ж
Ж ORD 060208 Ж

Ж flawed Ж
Ж cynical Ж
Ж hypocritical Ж
Ж extreme self hatred Ж
Ж liar Ж
Ж indecisive most of the time Ж
Ж is a mother flower Ж

wish list
---------
- money
- general fitness
- travel the world
- someone to love

a normal family
~~-my diploma~~
-ORD !!!
-part time job
-no more injuries
-caffeine addiction to be cured (this is going to be damn hard..)
~~coke is my poison, why should i cure it? what am i thinking ..

-class 2b license
-honda SP-150 (FY Plate preferred, 2nd hand, stock colour)
~~-won't tio guards in army~~
~~got posted to combat engineers

-t shirts with funny messages
-black formal suit with pants
-black plain button shirts
-new jeans
-new boxers !!!
~~-leg weights~~
~~run can liao
~~-wrist guards~~
~~-knee guards~~
~~-silver for NAFPA~~
~~-MotoRawR V3 Black~~
~~~~has access to a MotoRawR V3i now~~
~~using iphone 3GS now, i dun even like it, bleh

-new desktop/laptop ?
.P4 duo-core 3.2ghz
.2gb RAM
.any mid range PCI-E card will do
~~.750 gig HD !~~
~~1 TB HD
.router ..
~~-everyone to complete their FYP/IPP/Academic semester smoothly~~
-people around me to feel be happy.. ^^

last updated on 16th dec 2006 :: 9.05pm
last last updated on 5th jun 2010 :: 11.37am

ARCHIVES

04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 / 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 / 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 / 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 / 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 / 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 / 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 / 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 / 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 / 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 / 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 / 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 / 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 / 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 / 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 / 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 / 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 / 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 / 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 / 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 / 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 / 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 / 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 / 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 / 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 / 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 / 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 / 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 / 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 / 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 / 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 / 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 / 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 / 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009 / 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 / 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 / 09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009 / 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 / 01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010 / 03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010 / 06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010 / 07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010 / 10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010 / 11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010 / 12/01/2010 - 01/01/2011 / 01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011 / 04/01/2011 - 05/01/2011 / 07/01/2011 - 08/01/2011 / 09/01/2011 - 10/01/2011 / 10/01/2011 - 11/01/2011 / 11/01/2011 - 12/01/2011 / 10/01/2012 - 11/01/2012 / 12/01/2012 - 01/01/2013 /