random thoughts of life

Friday, September 02, 2005

i'm a idiot
i'm a fucking mother fucker

i don't deserve anything more in life

i'm sorry zhen zuan .. i am really sorry

but no, we cannot be together anymore..
i'm sorry for doing this to you

you wanted to marry the guy who took ur virginity

and i'm jus a selfish motherfucker who only wanted you for ur body

i did love you
alot

i hope that you never get to read this
i don't know how can i act so heartless..
i still cry after i hear Ge Qian by jay ..
i still need you, in certain ways

but u'll be the reason for me to fight
to do the things that i need to do in my life

cherish ur boyfriend .. i think he will treasure u alot too
don't say things like i don't like him at all, etc
cos i really hope that you will ..

jus forget me
move on
i know that may be impossible

but jus treat me as a guy who never deserved your respect and trust at all

i'm sorry
really sorry

and the jas thing
i like her, somewhat
she's really quite cute
but i don't deserve anything, anyone

i do want to be with her
=)
but no, i'm a stupid motherfucker who should be shot or something
i feel so despicable ..

i feel like shit
i hate myself so much

ahhh
nvm
3179

wish me luck for 2b
i want to be of use to ppl
then at least i won't be a useless person ever again

"everybody knows that it's impossible to please everybody, so why not jus please *most* of the bodies?"
-7the0ry

LOL
tk care ppl

¶ 3:20 AM

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if my life is meant to be this screwed up .. why do i exist then

Ж 7th.the0ry Ж
Ж male Ж
Ж b+ Ж
Ж free-thinker Ж
Ж 172cm Ж
Ж 59kg Ж

Ж Application Consultant Ж
Ж 35th singapore combat engineers (bridging) Ж
Ж boatman Ж
Ж ORD 060208 Ж

Ж flawed Ж
Ж cynical Ж
Ж hypocritical Ж
Ж extreme self hatred Ж
Ж liar Ж
Ж indecisive most of the time Ж
Ж is a mother flower Ж

wish list
---------
- money
- general fitness
- travel the world
- someone to love

a normal family
~~-my diploma~~
-ORD !!!
-part time job
-no more injuries
-caffeine addiction to be cured (this is going to be damn hard..)
~~coke is my poison, why should i cure it? what am i thinking ..

-class 2b license
-honda SP-150 (FY Plate preferred, 2nd hand, stock colour)
~~-won't tio guards in army~~
~~got posted to combat engineers

-t shirts with funny messages
-black formal suit with pants
-black plain button shirts
-new jeans
-new boxers !!!
~~-leg weights~~
~~run can liao
~~-wrist guards~~
~~-knee guards~~
~~-silver for NAFPA~~
~~-MotoRawR V3 Black~~
~~~~has access to a MotoRawR V3i now~~
~~using iphone 3GS now, i dun even like it, bleh

-new desktop/laptop ?
.P4 duo-core 3.2ghz
.2gb RAM
.any mid range PCI-E card will do
~~.750 gig HD !~~
~~1 TB HD
.router ..
~~-everyone to complete their FYP/IPP/Academic semester smoothly~~
-people around me to feel be happy.. ^^

last updated on 16th dec 2006 :: 9.05pm
last last updated on 5th jun 2010 :: 11.37am

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