random thoughts of life

Sunday, August 01, 2004

haha, my grandmother does not recognise me anymore ..
and she's the one who took care of me for the past 18 years ..

i nv lost a close relative b4 .. i never even saw a relative pass away for that matter .. haha, dunno how should i react ..

she jus came online .. i'm still tinking about her .. i don't know what to do .. i don't know what i should do .. if she knows about my feelings .. then won't she expect me to do *something* ??? .. ..

nv felt like this b4 .. i guess that the previous relationships of my are jus foolish ones, ones that i devoted myself to, for no apparent reason ..
and there is proof of what i've jus said .. the girls involved jus threw me away like some kind of unwanted item ..

i keep thinking about her .. someone please help me ..

¶ 9:19 PM

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if my life is meant to be this screwed up .. why do i exist then

Ж 7th.the0ry Ж
Ж male Ж
Ж b+ Ж
Ж free-thinker Ж
Ж 172cm Ж
Ж 59kg Ж

Ж Application Consultant Ж
Ж 35th singapore combat engineers (bridging) Ж
Ж boatman Ж
Ж ORD 060208 Ж

Ж flawed Ж
Ж cynical Ж
Ж hypocritical Ж
Ж extreme self hatred Ж
Ж liar Ж
Ж indecisive most of the time Ж
Ж is a mother flower Ж

wish list
---------
- money
- general fitness
- travel the world
- someone to love

a normal family
~~-my diploma~~
-ORD !!!
-part time job
-no more injuries
-caffeine addiction to be cured (this is going to be damn hard..)
~~coke is my poison, why should i cure it? what am i thinking ..

-class 2b license
-honda SP-150 (FY Plate preferred, 2nd hand, stock colour)
~~-won't tio guards in army~~
~~got posted to combat engineers

-t shirts with funny messages
-black formal suit with pants
-black plain button shirts
-new jeans
-new boxers !!!
~~-leg weights~~
~~run can liao
~~-wrist guards~~
~~-knee guards~~
~~-silver for NAFPA~~
~~-MotoRawR V3 Black~~
~~~~has access to a MotoRawR V3i now~~
~~using iphone 3GS now, i dun even like it, bleh

-new desktop/laptop ?
.P4 duo-core 3.2ghz
.2gb RAM
.any mid range PCI-E card will do
~~.750 gig HD !~~
~~1 TB HD
.router ..
~~-everyone to complete their FYP/IPP/Academic semester smoothly~~
-people around me to feel be happy.. ^^

last updated on 16th dec 2006 :: 9.05pm
last last updated on 5th jun 2010 :: 11.37am

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